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My Battle with Corn Syrup
Posted by Johnny the Urban Land Pirate
Johnny the Urban Land Pirate

April 1st, 2008

So, while reading food ingredients while I’m eating…I started to notice an alarming trend. About 75% of everything I eat has corn syrup of some kind in it. A sweetener. Made from syrup. From corn? CORN!? My soda, salad dressing, and even (GASP!) my Strawberry NesQuik! My strawberry milk is sweetened by syrup made from corn!? It doesn’t even make sense to me. So today I’ve decided I’m taking a stand. No more will the Sweet Mistress Corn Syrup get past my gums. The corn growers of America’s steel grip on my life is over! Join me and rise up and fight the societal crutch that is CORN SYRUP. No more corn syrup for me!

UPDATE: All I can find to eat and drink that is corn syrup free are saltine crackers and water. Well…most water. Some of it is actually loaded with the stuff…this is going to be harder than I thought…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 at 2:25 am and is filed under Laughing Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “My Battle with Corn Syrup”

  1. a Says:

    air also contains corn syrup.

    April 1st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
  2. Chuck Says:

    vitamin water does not contain corn syrup.

    instead, it contains 32.5 grams of crystaline fructose per small sized bottle which is about 20 oz. crystaline fructose is a more simple sugar than corn syrup and is found in a lot of fruits. but 32.5 grams of any sugar is a lot. basically, it is two teaspoon fulls of sugar per bottle. drink 14 bottles of vitamin water and you just drank a pound of sugar.

    while there are low caloric content per serving drinks like vitamin water, there is still an assload of sugar in them.

    April 1st, 2008 at 3:51 pm
  3. tom
    tom Says:

    Sounds like you need to hit up a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. My cubemate gave me a killer no-corn mango bar from them.

    Why stop at at corn syrup, when the true evil is CORN itself?
    (http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/earth/4237539.html)
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethanol_fuel#Criticism_and_controversy)

    April 1st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
  4. Will
    Will Says:

    I’m going to change this entire site into a tool to fight the corn overlords running this country.

    April 1st, 2008 at 7:11 pm

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