So here we are. The Mall of America. I hate being a downer, but we drove all the way to Minnesota to come spend the day in a mall? Don’t get me wrong, this place is impressive because of its scale. It’s giant. I’m impressed. But it’s still just a mall. And it’s filled with the same old junk I don’t care about at the mall 15 minutes from my apartment. Oh wait, I’m sorry, there is way way more junk in this mall to bore me. Herkimer seemed to enjoy himself riding the indoor rides at Summer of SpongebBob and Bob lost his shit a little over the big Lego section. Big deal. The only cool thing they had there, and we missed it by a couple of days. Bodies the Exhibition comes this weekend. That woulda been cool. Instead, I was in 4 locations of the same hat store scattered across the joint. The more and more I walked through the mall, the angrier I was getting. I can’t imagine how half of these stores even stay in business. The Alpaca Store, Farm Toys, Just Dogs Gourmet: serving up the world tastiest dog treats! What the hell is all this crap? Who needs ANY OF THIS. There are people dying in a war for our country, people are losing their jobs left and right and there is enough money somehow to keep the Just Dogs treat shop open. Recession my ass! P.S. I punched out Sharky in his big dumb face on the way out. That jackass mall mascot wouldn’t stop smiling at me. Why does a mall in a state without any coastline have a shark for a mascot!? This place makes no sense. It’s a capitalist hellhole run amok. They did have a Rainforest Cafe though…that was cool. I love that place.